Missing You...

I don't know what's happening to me today, I just can’t explain it. Suddenly I felt jealous for no reason at all but got to managed it and realized that it was not worth to ruin my day just for this absurd thing.

And then found myself staring blankly and tears begun to fall in my eyes thinking about my 2 nephews in Philippines who were living alone without the presence of their parents. I am worried, bothered thinking about their whereabouts, their condition and their plights. My heart shatters whenever I think of them. Who shall I blame? I was thinking that life is so unfair. Why these things should happen to my nephews. They don't have the father to look after to everyday that they have problems, when things go wrong; who shall they approach? who shall protect them?, who shall guide them since they were still young?

I don't know if I shall blame my sister for she left her kids at such a young age. She should have fought harder for her kids and she shouldn't let her cancer end her life. I am sorry if I am thinking this way, I know I am not getting rational in the way I am thinking but till now I could not comprehend these things. I still can’t accept her passing. My nephews had their father but it seems he's invisible and unreal for he's too far from them if they want them anytime that they needed him. I felt so sad and depressed; they're too young to experience these things.

Yes, I know my parents are there and can protect them, love them and guide them, but still the real presence of a family is what they need. I have taken the responsibility as their parent with no regrets. When my sister entrusted her kids to me and when she told me that I should exceed the love that she had given to them, I promised that I will never leave them, that I will take care of them and love them as much as I can and do my best though I am far from them.

There are no days that I am not thinking of my sister. I missed her so much, I love her so much and her kids. I may have done wrong towards her but the love I had for her will never fade. I am too sorry for all the wrong things I have done to her and may the lord bless her soul.

Wherever you are now, I want to let you know that I will keep my promises to you and will always love your kids.